Online Single Dating

USA (SANEPR.com) April 23, 2009 -- Suddenly single seniors face unique challenges when it comes to dating. However, loneliness and a desire for companionship drives many to pursue partners online and through the posting of personal ads. The good news is that you are not alone. Losing a partner and finding yourself suddenly single from the age of 50 on is a fact of life for millions of people who are also looking for a new love.

Your first job as a suddenly single senior is to get with it and acclimatize yourself to the idea that dating has changed over the years. For some people, things may seem extremely casual and even heathen compared to the formalities of yesterday. Times may have changed, but it is important to remember that people have stayed the same. Don't be afraid to take a chance, post your profile online on a seniors site or ask that special friend in your social sphere if he or she would like to go out on a date.

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One of the great things about being older is that you can dispense with a lot of the anxiety and anticipation that plagues younger relationships. You have nothing to fear because nobody has anything that you haven't seen before. Also senior daters tend to have a better sense of humor and be less fussy about who calls who and other gender politics.

Sifting through the personal ads is a skill that you will have to learn in order to become an expert player in today's dating game. Make a habit of scanning these profiles every day, in case an ad appeals to you. Make sure that before you respond to any ad in the paper that you use an alias, conceal your phone number and address and that you are writing to an individual who would be a realistic partner for you.

People who take out ads in the personal section of the paper are usually people just like you. Determine first, before you scan the profiles, whether you are looking for a serious relationship, a lover or just a companion to go to the movies with. Many ads will overtly state right in the body of the copy exactly the kind of relationship they are seeking. Narrowing your criteria and the idea of what kind of relationship you are searching for usually manifests the best results. For instance, if you can't stand watching football, don't respond to ads from men or women who are into sports.

If you are searching for a friend or companion only through the personal ads, start with profiles that state this specifically. These ads will usually use such phrases as "seeking a friend", "no commitments", "for fun times", "want to have a good time", "not looking for a relationship", "just want to spend some time with you" or "seeking a companion". There are various words used expressing friendship, companionship and those just looking to date. Use these expressions and words to help you sort through the personal ads narrowing your decision among the many people listed.

However, if you are searching for someone with whom to be more than friends, try reading between the lines again. Look for phrases such "looking for love", "searching for that someone special", "more than friends", "quiet and cozy" and "easy going and lovable", "special times".

If you are posting a profile or intending publish one in a newspaper make sure you include the following information. Your thoughts about a relationship, what type of relationship you are seeking what type of person you are searching for, what qualities you desire, and how far you want the relationship to mature. This will aid those that are reading your profile connect easily with you.

Sometimes you may find your new soul mate in unlikely places. These days, a lot of seniors turn to the Internet to find new partners. The opportunity to meet single senior men and women of diverse backgrounds, who are interested in dating, is enormous; in fact, as many as nine million people per month reach out to find a new partner in this way. Even if you don't meet that special someone, you certainly will make a lot of friends in the meantime!

Some seniors just want someone to talk to, some want to have a partner to take to the movies, theaters and parties. The majority of seniors that advertise online have been married and lost their partners through illness or divorce and would like to be married again.

If you do decide to try online dating, keep in mind the following fair warnings. Be wary of any senior dating site which charges large sums of money or high membership fees as there are many sites out there who would be glad to have you as a member for free. Never give out your email address, home address or telephone number to a stranger you meet online. When you enlist as a member on a site, create an alias and a free hotmail account so you can maintain your anonymity.

Some tips that might help you orient yourself to finding the right person are:

* Always be honest about who you are and never lie about your age. That kind of thing usually catches up with you sooner or later
* Ask yourself what qualities you are looking for in a new partner
* Boost your confidence by noting the number of good things that you personally have to offer a new relationship
* Don't search for an imitation or replacement for the partner that you have lost
* Have a sense of humor. Not everyone on the Internet is playing with a full deck!
* Take it one day at a time. Every no brings you to the next yes.

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